update.

Did I mention I am having a girl... oh right I didn't because I am still coming to terms with the affect it had on me. I honestly didn't think I had a preference, I had never considered myself one of those people who would be mad, sad, "affected," by the genders of my children, until I found out it was a she. Now let me explain that I am thrilled, just seriously worried. I am so excited for so many reasons!

1. Elliot will have a little sister to protect and take care of.
2. She will have a big brother to look after her!
3. I get to decorate a cute little girl room (on a med school budget...)
4. I get to buy little girl dresses and really delve into my girly side (on a med school budget...)
5. I get to have a little girl and a little boy which is ideal. I feel blessed, oh so blessed.

but... I am stressed for oh so many more reasons...

1. I CANNOT raise myself! Or anyone remotely close to the emotionally charged, insanely whiney, crazy, dramatic child I was. I thank my mom daily in my heart. daily.
2. I have 3 sisters and about 300 barbies... She is a problem I can't even think about right now.
3. The color pink.
4. Elementary: mean girls, insecurities, drama!
5. Junior high:  everything mentioned in 4 only worse and cheerleading try-outs... (heaven forbid.)
6. High school: everything mentioned in 4 and 5 only worse and with a car and a boyfriend (not if I have anything to do with it!)
7. An older brother with friends... in the same house as his younger sister with friends (but unfortunately only 19 mos. apart!)... oh I am not so naive, don't even think I don't see the immediate danger in that! 

...and I haven't even listed the first 5 years before she discovers barbies, or the 5 years after high school when she discovers who she is. This will be such an adventure I am seriously freaking myself out just posting this.

In all seriousness though, I am so excited. And Jace is beaming. Because of course, he knows as well as I do, that all girls love their daddy's. They love their mom's too, just not when they are being asked to do anything, wear anything, go anywhere, date or stop dating anyone, or especially be home at a certain time. Or just most times in general they are angry with their mother's, for no real reason except their chronic disease of feeling "misunderstood." And then one day, they grow-up and become mother's and realize, they have turned into exactly the one person they should be: their mother. And they realize nine out of ten times, she was right, and they can't believe she ever raised a daughter like them. And they want to thank them in their hearts. daily.

P.S. My little girly was so pretty in the ultra-sound. She is kicking me right this minute. And I can't wait to hold her. I am excited to have a great relationship with her just like my mom and mine. And I am going to stop worrying so much, because I know it will be so fun, every minute. But, if you have a handbook on daughters, send one my way.